I was a total wreck going into my meeting with my trainer today but it seemed to get much easier as the conversation went along. I am so RELIEVED! And proud of the stance I took on my own behalf. I ended up ordering a roasted veggie sandwich and eating half during our meeting and then the rest when I returned home. I wanted to eat everything in sight to reduce the all the feeling that were going inside of me. Although I may have eaten more I was able to pick all the right thing. Grapes, nuts and raisins. 
Look very closely at my dinner tonight... Do you see anything different? If you guess the salmon on my plate you are correct. We had a very heart to heart talked today at lunch and I had to very specific on what I wanted. I want more definition, look like I could compete and I just want to see all my hard work in the gym displayed in front of me to see. That will take dedication and I believe I am ready to take that last step in my journey. 
I respect my trainer he has trained many that have competed and won he does know what he is doing and I have to trust him and give my training and diet over to him if this is what I truly say that I want. I do, I truly do and that will include meat protein into my diet and I am OK with that. So tonight I began reintroducing meat into my diet. Tonight I had some Salmon Roulette for dinner. 
A side of steamed broccoli with Molly McButter
and it was finished off with some whole wheat couscous. A great and satisfying dinner and I am quite full and content both emotional and physically.This was a very rewarding day for me in a lot of way and for that I am proud. I have moved from a place of not being able to tell people what I need to having the confidence to say it. I felt like I was honest and direct and that he both heard me and respect what I was saying. Now the true test will be iin how he will react from here. Will I see more dedication on his part? I owe him the benefit of the doubt.
He will be writing my program and giving it to me on Saturday. I will begin on Monday with a new dedication to finish up this journey I have been traveling! The diet, weighing and training all will begin to make that happen. I can't say that from here on out that my food will be so exciting to see but if you want to come along for the last part of my journey your more than welcome to come along for the ride. I plan on taking pictures and posting them to document the beginning of the end! I am both excited and terrified because I have been on this diet before it is not exciting and can be difficult but I believe I have had a nice four month rest and ready to do it!
1 comment:
Well no doubt you read my last post, so you know what I think of your new goals.
You should be proud of every little thing you do, that leads to positive change, and YES I would be honoured and proud to follow your new journey.
I believe with your increased levels of confidence and your ability to control things better these days, you CAN do this.
You will have to be aware though that once you have the additional mass required to shred down, and look well sculpted, as opposed to looking like a slightly pumped up Olympic Marathon runner, the diet phase will be very hard potentially, and you will really start feeling it, around the middle and latter stages, almost certainly, so you need to be very mentally ready for that, because should little issues with food still occur, like minor lapses of control, they could cost you in the long-term.
I read of someone once, who dieted for one show for two months, lost control, splurged for 2 days, felt guilty, and pulled out, potentially ruining their hopes and dreams.
If they ever did attempt to compete again, I don't know.
So forwarned is potentially forearmed as they say, but to re-iterate, I would really, like to see how this works out.
I would be a wonderful end to an already special journey, and if you can give this 100% care, attention and commitment, I can certainly try to give you pretty much the same, in support, encouragement, and motivation, if you want it :-) :-).
I wish you tonnes of GOOD LUCK, in this new endeavour. You ARE someone with looks, that would not be out of place on any stage, and I am very confident and do believe in you, and your potential to become a great athlete, and an even bigger success than you are now.
I wish you every success with this, and my full support will be with you throughout, for as long as you want it.
Take care and best wishes.
:-) :-).
Matt
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