Friday, July 17, 2009

Quick Update!

Thanks to everyone for the kind words and suggestions. I am happy to report that the stomach issue has resolved. It left as unexpected as it came. No rim or reason just gone. I was interesting but at this point am not even going to try to figure it out. I did end up going to the doctor Thursday morning, because Wednesday night my stomach was gurgling so bad. I did take Maalox twice that night. The doctor did some blood work and wanted me to get a stool sample to return to the office. Good and bad is that I have not had a sample to provide. Go figure. They did call and left a message saying that they had medicine for me and that the doctor want to schedule a gall bladder ultrasound. But not sure if this is necessary at this point.
Every since Thursday I have been totally off on my eating and I am ready to get back in the swing of things. I have a lot of options on what I want to do with food at this point and truthfully I am just not sure what I want to do. I am not liking the uncertainty and I am not even truly sure where this is coming from.
In on regard the vegetarian diet has gone extremely well for me and I have been able to stabilize my weight and that has been such a rewarding and peacful place. But then in another regard I am not sure if I can build the muscle mass I am hoping to get with a vegetarian diet. I see several girls in the gym whose muscle tone is amazing and you can see such great definition from them without them even flexing. At the root of this I must ask myself, why? What am I trying to prove? And what point will I be happy in my own skin? Can I be happy in my own skin?
They are deep questions but ones that I believe are truly worth looking at.
I have done some amazing stuff with my body that I never, ever thought possible. I have transformed it from a morbility obese person to a fit and lean women. I should stand proud and not hide in the shadows feeling like I have not yet arrived, because I have.
I guess the title of my blog says it all, Ever Winding Road! Are you happy in your own skin? Can you look in the mirror and truly be happy with what you see? I would love to hear you thought on this question.

4 comments:

gale said...

I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better! You're in maintenance now. You have the flexibility to go in any direction that you want! Just stay true to yourself and what you want. There isn't one perfect food plan. There are many fulfilling roads to achieve what you want. I'm a fan! :)

BBingR.N. said...

"How to be happy in your own skin"....that's the 100 million dollar question! It's a struggle to not measure one's own worth and achievements against what other people have achieved. I struggle with it daily. And it's so easy to sell yourself short, unfortunately. For myself, I have to keep reminding myself that I have made a tremendous amount of progress as I shape myself - physically and emotionally - into the person I want to be. It's a work in progress, for sure, but I am enjoying the work and I have come to truly like the person I am. Never thought I'd be able to say that!

Good luck with finding a way of eating that suits yout tastes, needs, and lifestyle. It may very well be a "hybrid" of a bunch of different eating plans, and if it works for you....then it works! It doesn't have to be all-or-nothing!

-Em

Brit-Man said...

In my mind I can, though obviously not straight after getting up :-p :-p.

I wouldn't underestimate what the doctors are saying. What did happen may feel like it's gone, but if it has left any residual problems, you can't sense or feel, you need to know just in case, especially if a similar or different problem occurs years from now, that's in some way connected.

Even if there was no need, you've lost nothing by going.

So I'd say don't leave things to chance. It may seem a bit daunting with Doctors, but you may feel better off going than not going.

That's just another way of being good to yourself.

As for the diet you're on, you could bodybuild without too much difficulty, eating protein sources like Soybeans and other Soy products like Tofu, Tempeh and Nattokinase, (fermented Soy with a Bifidus culture), Quorn, Peanuts, Mushrooms, Rice, Flax and Legumes, (Soy already mentioned).

It's about calories as well. If you're still eating around 1,500, and if eating more calories, makes you a little fearful of getting some weight rebound, you will struggle to get the mass you want.

Your Protein sources aren't an issue, it's the level of eating that would have to be addressed, as 1,800 a day is the reccomended average for sedentary females.

So the main thing is not about what you eat, but how you eat it.

If you're Vegetarian not Vegan, there's no reason why you can't include things like Egg Whites and Low Fat Cheese too.

Yes you can be happy in your own skin and yes you have done amazing things with yourself.

You are without doubt a wonderful and beautiful inspiration to many, many women, with a great family and life as well.

You have many positives in your life, and your journey is truly remarkable, so you shouldn't feel like you're second best, or in some way failed to become what you hoped for.

You CAN be a person that flexes, and feels empowered and good about it, and have something worth flexing for, and like I said, barring the amount of calories you're eating, there's no reason why you can't be like that.

You just need to be strong, overcome one or two little things in the way, and realise you have come so far, and done a lot, that to deny yourself the last bit of physical progress and success, is almost a crime as you're such a capable person.

Yes you have had one or two tiny problems lately with food, but it's not like you've spiralled and put 20lbs on in 2-3 months.

So the main things are to keep your chin up and keep looking forward. You're a really, really great person, with a great Heart and you've become such a competent, vibrant and "youthfully mature" Lady, that there's no reason to underestimate yourself, or keep putting yourself down for little things.

You have the power to free your mind, unlock a few remaining doors and put some demons to rest for good. It's not going to be easy, but once you make that first step, you'll soon realise you can do it.

If you've made it this far, there's no reason why the last little bit should be so hard.

The hardest bit was what you did for the last 5 years or so, including the surgical procedures.

Brit-Man said...

So I really hope you can do what you want to do. Don't be afraid to question yourself sometimes, as it's fine, and don't be hard on yourself for being human, that's okay too, and making a few mistakes is human, not a weakness or a major failing, but also don't be afraid of yourself, because you've shown many people, that within that person you used to be, was an incredibly inspiring, touching and wonderful, female rolemodel, and to come this far showed a lot of Heart and courage and produced amazing physical results, and you should be proud of them and also of you too, as it's made you an even better person than you were before, emotionally, mentally and physically.

Like I said though, I would suggest additional medical assistance regards recent issues, just to be sure, leaving no doubt, but that's something you must feel 100% comfortable with.

You deserve the best and deserve to feel the best, so don't deny yourself that, as it's not fair to yourself.

Take care, GOOD LUCK and no worries okay.

You're absolutely amazing, with a great domestic and work life. Be very proud of it all and don't hinder it either, because you've earned it.

:-) :-).

Matt