Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Control, Trust and Confident

I have been aware that I like to be in control and throw the word around quite often. Today I i decided to look actually look up its meaning.

1. To exercise authority or dominating influence over , direct, regulate
2. To hold in restraint, check
3. To verify or regulate (a scientific experiment) by conducting a parallel experiment or by comparing with some other standard.
4. To verify(an account, for example) by using a duplicate register for comparison.

I was so blessed to discuss my current situation with my trainer with a "dear" friend (Gale). Today I am grateful for her ability to bring to my awareness what possible be going on. I don't think I would have seen it with out her insight. After looking up the definition of "control" it is very clear to me what could be happening. I have total fear of releasing "control" of my training to my trainer. For the last 24 hours I can say that I have been comparing with other standards, by looking up stuff on the Internet and talking to others to build evidence to myself that I ""must" keep the control. How does this serve me? How can I grow and trust if I constantly want the control?
With this brought up another interesting point, trust.

1. confidence in the integrity, ability, character and truth of a person
2. One in which confidence is placed.

I think I equate trust with fulfilling my expectations and loyalty. I believe I throw the word trust around to test if people care about me... enough. But ultimately, it isn't anyonelses responsibility to make sure all my needs are take care of . The only person in charge is me. Why would I expect others to think of me first when I can't even do that for myself? And I believe this finally boils down to confident.

1. marked by assurance as of success
2. marked by confidence in oneself
3. very bold, persumptious

Being confident is the ultimate victory to self acceptance, self worth and overall contentment and joy in our lives. In order to truly build confidence you must take risks, and they are not always very comfortable. But isn't being a "little" uncomfortable worth it? I choose yes!!

So I choose to release my control and begin to trust the process. I am handing over this to my trainer.
In the end I will stand confident in myself because I did!


Brit-Man said...

Ultimately you need to do, what is best for you, regards certain things.

Your own personal happiness is key, and if sacrificing things you don't have to, to get it in less than ideal ways, isn't the right way to try and be happy.

I know you will do what you need to do, and I have every belief in you.

Good luck and best wishes.

:-) :-).


CathyC said...

I agree with Brit-Man, I believe in you too!

Heather said...

Your trainer can only provide you tools to reach the finish line but ultimately it is up to YOU to get there. He can't do the work for you.

I'm behind so I dont know the context of what's been going on but I can say this in relation to prepping for a show & competing. It's a 100% mental game. You have to be "on" to be ready for that. Your head will mess with you & having someone there to help you through that is priceless. Dont overanalyze things or it'll just get worse.

In the end, you must be doing this show (or shows) for you & you alone. Not the judges, not the girls you compete with. When you step off that stage, you have to be happy with what you've presented, what you did to get there & know that you've done everything you could to be YOUR best rather than "the" best.

Facing prep with any other attitude might just be a derailment waiting to happen.

I hope that helps in some context. Just felt like I needed to share what I learned through my experiences :)

gale said...

What Heather had to share is so important. The competition is for you. To do your best, not be guaranteed you'll win before you even begin the journey. The world is FOR you...take the risks to go where you want to go and know that we're behind you 100% of the way!

Debi said...

Such a great & powerful blog Kathi! Hope your 1st week was successful and you are feeling powerful!

Looking forward to following you on this journey!!