Thursday, December 31, 2009


It is 10:38 on December 31st. I have eaten more food than I wanted to and I am yet again wondering if I will ever get it.
I have thought about what I want to accomplish in 2010. I want to find a peace around food and exercise. I know that I can find it but it will take committment and dedication. I am looking forward to this challenge and I am hopeful that I will find it.
I will not let the slip ups defeat me. I will learn from each one of them. I will pick myself up, wipe myself off and try again.
I have SO enjoyed the blog world and learning from each and everyone one of these extraordinary women. Although many of them don't even know that I read they have all touched me in some way or another.
I would like to return to blogging on a more regular bases and begin taking pictures again. I truly enjoyed it when I did it and I felt like it helps me to look back at all the wonderful food I have eaten along the way. I have yet to find a routine with returning back to work and now finding another job seems to make it difficult. I know many of these women in the blog world work full time and still have time to blog so I do not want it to be an excuse for me not to try to do it.
Goals for the tomorrow (one day at a time)

- 96-128 ounces of water
- 5 serving of fruits and vegetables (2 fruits, 3 vegetables)
- 30 grams of fiber
- Lower body workout
- 1600- 1800 calories
- journal all my food (enter in fitday)

Just writing these small goals tomorrow helps me feel in control again and ready to push
I look forward to the weeks ahead of this new year with hope and determination to make it the best year yet!

Long term goal:

Return to a health weight range 148-153

Other goals:

write a book
recipe book?
get more client with my personal chef business
reduce our spending
help someone in need

There are so many wonderful opportunities out in the world and I would love to have to opportunity to make a small impact some where some how. It very excited to think about.

Here is to a wonderful 2010!!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Stay Focused

Thank you to everyone who made a comment about yesterday I really appreciate the support and input.
I went to the gym this morning and did 35 minutes on the ellipitcal had a nice good sweat and it felt good. I have been solid to day so far but have had moment of wanting to give in but so far I am staying focused.
I made two batches of almond butter and a batch of cookies today and no samples... I some times don't understand myself at times I can have will power of steel and other times I could care less. But as a new year is approaching I wonder what my goal will be for myself. I have accomplised so much but yet have things yet to do. Although my body is good I do not believe that it is my very best and that is what I would like to strive for this coming year. I question if I an do this alone. I have had a personal trainer for the past year and half and with our financial situation I have had to give that up. Can I do this alone?
Today food has been good. Breakfast: Oatmeal, five egg whites, 1/2 cup skim milk and tablespoon flaxseed meal, snack: protein shake, lunch, 4 ounces chicken, romaine and ranch dressing, snack 2: protein shake. I have taken out some tilipia and will have that for dinner along with a big bowl of broccoli. It feels to have a plan to fall back on that I know will bring me back to where I want to be. We are attending a christmas party this evening and that will be difficult with all the wonderful eats around but I have done it before and I know I can do it again. I do not want this to be a christmas for reason to indulge.
I know I can get the seven pounds I have put on off very quickly if I stick the course.
I am looking for some good challenges for 2010 anyone have any good ones? I would love to get some ideas or get involved in some to keep me focused and motivated on what it is I want to do and achieve.
Thanks for reading

Friday, December 18, 2009

Lost My Groove!!

I have to say that I am totally out of my groove. I think it is a combination of the stress of a second job and the holidays! I have put on a good seven pounds and am not feeling good about it. But I have yet to do anything about it. I wanted to hide and pretend this is not happening. I must now making a decision on what I want to do next.
Anyone else lost their groove? How do you get it back?

Monday, December 7, 2009

Snowy Monday

I woke up this morning to a beautiful coat of white snow on the the ground. Of course I didn't think that it might take me a little longer to get to work! Oops! I had cooked up some brown rice last night so I decided to have some for breakfast this morning. I topped it with some of my homemade cranberry sauce, slivered almonds and a little maple syrup. Yummy!
The rice keep me pretty full and I got hungry around 10:00. I had packed some cottage cheese and an apple so I had that to keep me until lunch. I packed a lunch for work of pinto beans mixed with salsa and put it on a tortilla. This is an older picture since I don't take a camera to work to take picture of my eats, not yet that is.
I headed to the gym after work and did a upper body work out. I push hard and it felt good. I came home and had a banana with some of that delicious homemade almond butter. I have to admit I had a little difficulty again but not nearly as bad as yesterday. That is progress right? I nibble on the almond butter and finally made hubby put it away. I also had a cookie and some peanuts. But that was it and I was proud of myself for gaining control so quickly.

I began preparing sample food to take to my possible client tomorrow. I am a nervous wreck about it and since I have not done anything like this before I have to admit I am not sure what I am doing. The possible client want me to cook food for her children. Make them a lunch for school, after school snack and dinner. The kid are teenagers. So my sample food is: Lunch: carrots, orange and a chicken wrap Snack: fruit dip (made from low fat ricotta, yogurt and instant pudding mix), strawberries and some baked tortilla chips sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar Dinner: Turkey meatballs and fresh pasta. I will present tomorrow around 4:00.
After running around and freaking out about this whole thing I was able to manage a chicken salad: romaine lettuce, chicken breast, Parmesan cheese and lite dressing.
It is almost 9:00 and I am ready for bed. I have my clothes laid out for tomorrow, my lunch packed and my gym bag ready. Not sure when and how I will get my workout in but I will find time some where.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Still Learning!

I started the morning out right this morning. I waited for until I felt hungry and had a nice breakfast sandwich. English muffin with a veggie breakfast patty and one egg cooked with spinach. Filling and quite delicious.

I relaxed most of the morning and finally talked myself to heading over to the gym. I did a great 30 minute HIIT on the treadmill. It felt good and I was ready to eat. I decided to shower before eating lunch. I had saw an interesting idea from Abby at Eat, Drink and Be Aware it was a pear, cranberry and cheese sandwich. I had just made some delicious homemade cranberry sauce and this was a perfect way to use some of it. It was quite delicious and it hit the spot. I made a new cookie recipe to bring to a jewelry party my girlfriend was having this afternoon. I made some homemade pasta, showered, dressed and was out the door for the party.
It was nice to visit with everyone at the jewelry party and I with our financial situation I decided not to order anything from the party. I also decided not to have anything at the party to eat which ended up being a very bad idea. I left the party and was hungry. I decided to eat the last two cookie that remained that I had brought. I was ok with that but little did I know what was going to happen when I got home. I was hungry and started eating. Although I did not make bad choices I ate a lot more than I needed to. To help with the eating I decided to go ahead and eat dinner early. I ate the rest of the veggie pizza from last night. I ate the remaining four pieces and had a few more picks before I decided I needed to take action. I headed upstairs away from the food area. I began working on menu ideas for a possible client that want me to cook meal for her children. In doing this I was able to gain control. I am still learning and this was another day of it. I did some really good things and also thing I still need to work on .

I am ready for a great week ahead. I have my lunch packed: left over chili and cottage cheese with an apple.

I have a question for you: Do you plan out all your meals for the week? I currently only plan dinner but i am wondering if planning all meals would be helpful? I look forward to getting your input.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Homemade Pizza!!

I woke up this morning and was initial in panic mode. After all the eating last night I wasn't sure how I wantedy day to look. So at first I did nothing. I starting working on sprucing up the blog, what do you think? It still needs some work but I am having fun working on it. At about 10:00 I was hungry and had to make a decision on what I was going to do. So I decided on my favorite, oatmeal porridge: 1/2 cup oatmeal, 1/2 cup milk, 1/2 cup water, 5 egg whites and tablespoon flaxseed meal. I just love this meal and it always fills me up.

I proceed to have some leisure time with the blog and just relaxing. I decided not to go to the gym today and will go tomorrow to do a 30 minute HIIT. I worked my lower body hard on Friday and I felt my legs could use a break. So at about 1:00 I was getting hungry and decided to have this. Oh I just love beans burgers. I had gotten this recipe for Kath Eats Real Food. It was so good and so easy. 3/4 cup of black beans, 3 tablespoons wheat flour, 1 teaspoon olive oil, 3 splashes of Worcestershire sauce and garlic powder. Mash the beans and the rest of the ingredients. Form two patties and cook up in a nonstick pan sprayed with cooking spray. Oh I will definately be having this again. LOVE IT! I put it on a arnold bun with 1 tablespoon of barbecue sauce and broccoli slaw mixed with a flaxseed oil dressing. I finished up the grocery list and hubby and I did the weeks worth of shopping.

After putting the groceries away I decided to make some of my own almond butter. When I went to Costco the other day they did not have any Naturally More and I was SO disappointed. So I did the next best thing and made my own.

I roasted 2 1/2 cup of almond that were mixed with 1/4 cup pure maple syrup and 1 tablespoon of cinnamon. I baked it at 350 degrees for 15 minutes. I cooled it for a little while and then threw it in the food processor. I had a few licks, ok several licks SO good. I was proud of myself I had a few licks and then put it away. I look forward to having some of it in my oatmeal tomorrow. If you haven't tried making your own almond butter give it a try. So simple and quite delicious.

I have also been dreaming of this and when I was at the store I pick up a package of lite silken tofu. After the almond butter I whipped up a batch of this for dessert tonight. One package of lite silken tofu (has 120 calories for the whole package), 2 tablespoon agave nectar, 2 tablespoons of cocoa powder. Mix in a food processor until it resembles mousse. I threw in the refrigerator to chill. Of course I had to lick the remainders.

Now does that look delicious? Hubby and I decided to have pizza tonight. Since I had been watching my carbs very closely this was never in my diet and I looked forward to start living and eating... I would have liked to have had whole wheat pizza dough but I was willing to make a sacrifice and had the regular dough and opted to have no meat and just a little bit of cheese.

The dough is so easy to make. I have a bread maker and since I haven't been eating much carbs never felt the need to use it much until I saw that it has a setting for dough. I put all the ingredients in it to make the pizza dough and the let the machine do the work. In just over a hour and half we had delicious pizza dough. It was the best! If you have a bread maker that is gathering dust you might want to pull it out and see if you have such a setting. Hubby had a pizza with pepperoni and lots of cheese and I had a pizza with onions, mushrooms, red pepper, reduced fat mozzarella and cheddar. I had a huge salad with light dressing and two pieces of pizza and of course the mousse with raspberries.
Although the morning began with a panic it has ended on a happy note. I have decided to stay clear from the scale for awhile and just start eating healthy fresh food and see where it takes me.
It is great to be back blogging and taking pictures of all my wonderful eats! Off to watching a movie with hubby.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Blog world!

I love blogging and I enjoy reading blog as well. They give me hope and insight to what everyone is eating and how they handle food. There are some that are honest with their struggles and others that don't mention it at all. It is some times hard for me to believe that I may be a select few that have binges so great that I have to lie down with my pant unzipped moaning wish that I could just die or at least throw up. I did not want this blog to be about hiding my struggles but to put them all out there for the world to see. It is the hope for me that not only will I be able to write about my struggles but also touch others with the same struggles as well.
Case in point tonight was one of those nights. I worked until 12:30 had my lunch at work because I wanted to head to the grocery store and gym. I had a delicious homemade bean burger on a Arnold bun with 1 TB of BBQ sauce and broccoli slaw with a delicious flaxseed dressing. It was fabulous. I ran to Costco and then headed to the gym. Had a great work out and did 30 minutes of cardio. I made the mistake of getting on the scale and maybe that is what set things in motion. I had a protein shake while leaving the gym. I was still in line with the way I wanted to eat. That was before I set foot in the house then it went out the door. I wanted food and I didn't want to figure out why or attempt to stop. Although I did not eat to total discomfort it was not planned and was WAY more than I needed. So now I sit here after having just had a few pieces of toast with butter and an apple with peanut butter. I ask myself will this pattern every end for me? Is it so awful to do?
I will wake up tomorrow and will start my day like I do each and every day with a wonderful bowl of oats, because I love it! I just see so many bloggers just have so much self control with their eating having their perfect portions and I wonder am I the only one that seems to struggle so badly. Will I every be able to find peace and balance? I do know one thing that I will never give up trying and I hope for the day that I find it. I have come so far to give up now.
I think I will go see if I can get my little camera fixed so that I can start taking pictures of my foods. I love to do that so much and I really miss it.
I have a few great new recipes that I am eager to try and share. Thank you so much for reading and listening to me trying to figure this out.