Thanks!

I just wanted to write and thanks everyone who made a comment to my last blog entry. It touched me deeply and I wanted you all to know that.
Yesterday was a good day in the eating front and I wrote down meals for the whole week this include all six meals each day. I think this will help me stay focused and no wondering what I am going to eat.
I am trying to keep cost down in our grocery bill and was worried that I would not be able to continue eating on my plan. I was pleasantly surprised when I went with a pad of paper and a pencil and wrote down everything there was available. I think we tend to think we don't have enough and this is probably why I way over spend at the grocery store. There is plenty to eat this week and I have a sense of peace around that. Thanks to Kim for always being there to support me. Not sure what I will do once I am done working with her in November but I am going to treasure all the time I have left.
It is Monday and it is chest and back day today. I love lifting weights but the cardio well that is another story. I am just dreading it. But I keep telling myself that it is only 35 minutes and then it is done. So I will go prepare my preworkout smoothie and head to the gym.
Thanks again to everyone for all your wonderful comments.

It has been quite some time since I have blogged and I have thought to do it many time but wasn't sure what to write. I feel like I continue to struggle with the same old things and the past few days have been no different. I have been adding additional food in my diet and today I am not feeling so good about it. But when does it stop? Does it every stop?
Do I feel good about the way I look? yes Would I like to continue to improve? yes.
But I also want to live a little... Enjoy food... Is there a way to have both? I continue to struggle with these questions.
I have eaten quite a bit of food today and not even sure how to pick up the pieces and move on. I guess I will start by having a chicken salad for dinner what I planned on having and just go from here. I guess that is all I can do. Beating myself up over what has already occurred is useless and serves no purpose.
I pray and hope and some point I will find a happy medium along the way.

I want it and I want it yesterday!!

How often have we wanted something and didn't want to wait to get it? Anything from a new dress, new book and even a new body. We start a new diet and exercise plan and want to lose all the weight that has taken months or even years to accumulate with in days. We feel that we have made great sacrifices and wonder why our bodies are not responding. Within weeks of not getting the results we feel we deserve we are on the hunt looking for a better plan, because of course its the plan that is not working. Seldom do we want to admit or even look at our part in the equation.

You may ask, "What part could I be playing? I am following the plan a 100% there isn't anything to look at." One part that we tend to forget, and one most important, is our mental thought. The things we think about ourselves. We place such high expectations on ourselves no wonder we get discouraged so quickly. I ask what would happen if you accept yourself as you are at this moment? Begin to love yourself as you are. Turn all the negative talk to loving talk. This can be as simple as find one thing you love about yourself. Acknowledge all the wonderful thing about you. Begin to turn your focus on all the good you possess.

Once you turn your focus you can begin to just enjoy the process. Work on making every workout count and making every meal enjoyable with fresh clean foods. Focus on correct form and challenge your body with each work out. Research and find new food to incorporate to your diet and new recipes to try.

Results come from consistent loving work both physically and mentally. Once these are achieved the rewards will be limitless!!

Life is Good!!

Yesterday was a beautiful day and I decided that it would be a good idea to get out and enjoy it!
These picture of our outing. Absolutely beautiful.

This would have been a great picture if the lighting would have been better but you can see me a little..

Hubby posing for a great picture. It was so nice to spend the day together. With all the stuff going on in our lives it was nice to be able to truly realize what is important. I know I tend to get all caught up in all that but it was nice to just enjoy life! Do thing suck for us right now? Sure but it could always be worse and we have our health and it was nice to realize that today.

Hubby really need to take a photography class. This would have been a fabulous picture if it wasn't blurry but I still liked it and I am posting it anyway!!

Stopped for a much need break and snack. We had just walked up a billion steps!! I was dying and sweating. And I thought I was in shape!! It was a great day and we walk for over two hours. My little feet where sore but I was grateful that we both have our health and were able to enjoy such a beautiful day together.

Still Pluggin Away!

Yes I am still here and still plugging away. I have come to my blog many times wondering what I could possible write that I haven't written before. How could I write what I am going through without having a pitty party.
I continue to hit the gym hard and maintain eating clean. I haven't had a all out feast on food since I blogged about it last. All good things right? So why does it never feel good enough? Why must I continue to want instant results for my efforts? But the truth that is how I am feeling. I often ask myself why is my body betraying me? I am giving this whole process 100%, but am I? Doesn't part of the process mean being kind and loving to yourself? Sure eating clean and exercise is loving yourself but there is SO much more to it that I feel like I need to recognize.
I am at a different road on my journey and the sooner I can come to terms with the better I will be. There are part of my body that I don't like and I want to change. Of course I want those result to have happened yesterday. But those results will not happen over night and the training and the way of eating that I am learning now will get me results over time. How long with that take? There is no way of knowing. The most critical thing I have to learn right now is mental acceptance of my body right now. I have to learn to love me just the way I am at this moment as I am. I have to be patient and remember how far I have come.

Refeed Meal Became Refeed Feast

I have had some time to get over the refeed feast I had this weekend. I still have a lot of mental work to do. I blogged about in on TFF and Kim and I texted a little about it today. She read what I had written and said that I am right where I need to me. Everything I am feeling now is normal and good. How can being bloated like a beach whale be good? I have to continue to remind myself that this is a journey a process and will not always go as "I" want it to do. The best part of it I was able to jump right back into my eating plan on Sunday. I feel SO much better. I thought I would share some of the wonderful eats I had today. I worked out at 10:30 this morning and work out until 11:30. I have to eat 30 minutes after my work out so I came home and made this delicious meal. Whole wheat pasta, chicken, fresh garden tomatoes, garlic and basil. Oh SO yummy!

As many of you know I love ice cream I really do So I have been make my own version these days and am loving it. Protein shake and frozen mixed berries. Fabulous!!

Another one of my favorite things lately is fish I bake in tin foil. Tonight I layered lemons, onion and place the tilipia on top. Drizzled it with olive oil and dill and more lemon and onion . Place it in the oven until done. So moist and fresh. I had it with broccoli and some delicious red quinoa. If you haven't tried it you need to it has a wonderful texture. Great eats today.

I am going to sit and relax and get some motivation from Biggest Loser and will have my snack at 8:30, diced granny smith apple, cottage cheese, splenda, cinnamon topped with ground flaxseed meal.

Keep pushing everyone never give up, stay positive. We all must learn from this journey and become wiser and better peoplebecause of it!!

It's just a number right?

I have missed posting picture of my eats so I finally took some yesterday. I have been trying to get creative with the food I have on my list to eat. So for lunch yesterday I made a version of a Spanish type rice. I had 4 ounces of chicken a fresh tomato cut up and some home made taco seasoning. I heat that up and then add 3/4 cup of brown rice. It was very yummy and then I had some broccoli on the side.

For dinner last night I had fish. I found this recipe on the bag of frozen Tilipia and it had everything that I could have. I browned some sweet onion in a little olive oil and then I topped it with the Tilipia, garlic, fresh basil and a fresh tomato and I threw the pan in the oven. I add a little sea salt and it was delicious. I served it on top of some whole wheat couscous and side of string green beans

I got on the scale this morningwhich I had much anticipated all week. I tried to remind myself that it didn't really matter what it said. I had done well and I was feeling great. The number was the same 148. I was slightly disappointed and of course had to jump on the scale several more time to make sure it was correct. When my husband wakes up I will have him take my measurements to see if there were any changes in those numbers. I will have been with TFF two week on Monday. I am lifting well and I have made all my works out and have followed the plan 100 % so I have to be ok with that an move on.

Have legs and cardio today and am certainly looking forward to my refeed meal tomorrow. I have the place pick out and what I am going to order. Can you tell I still love to eat?