Surrender

You all may have thought since I haven't blogged lately that I must be busy getting back to my life since the surgery. That is further from the truth. I continue to struggle with the vertigo and at one point was frantic about finding an answer to it. I did go to my general doctor for a check up since the original visit. I told her I continue to have the vertigo and by what I have been told I have to wait it out. She did not seem to agree and proceeded to put me on Allegra D and Nascort for three days to see if it would help, which it did not. I was suppose to call her today to let her know how I was feeling which I did not. I am not sure if it is worth the hassle to continue to hope for an answer if there is not one. It has been SO difficult. If we are not feeling right don''t we all feel that we should have some reason for it? So here I sit, unable to do what I love and getting more and more frustrated. But today I decided to take a different approach. Since the verdict right now is that it will go away when it is darn ready to I must learn to live with it. So Saturday I drove to the grocery. I am not saying it is was easy but I am just adjusting to the way I move around in the world. The vertigo is not so bad that the room is spinning it just a weird rocking type motion, very hard to describe or explain. So today after Paul went to his breakfast group I decided to go and do the weekly shopping. It felt good to get my independence back yet frustrating to deal with this out of body experience. I got that done put the grocery away and decided that I miss so much pumping iron. Once Paul got home I told him that I wanted to lift weights, so being the kind man he is, he pulled out the work bench for me. As he was going for his walk I went down the basement and pumped some iron. It was great and sad at the same time. It felt good to get part of my life back but sad also because I have lost a lot of strength. I have been told the muscle memory comes back quickly so I can only hope that is true. It was nice to feel the burn in my pecs, triceps and shoulders. I was quite surprise how the heart got beating quickly lifting. So even got a little cardio benefit from the lift. I also drove over and got my nails done. I am hoping that maybe if I can learn to live with this condition that I will be good enough to get to training my clients next week. I guess the only thing that concerns me is to put my clients in any type of danger. I don't know how my reaction time would be if they had problems with a weight and that has what has made me step back from returning to the gym. My client safety and well being are always on the top of my list. So I continue to hope and pray this will pass and I can return healthy and ready to devote my undivided attention to my clients.
So I have surrender to the vertigo to some degree but have decided that it will not stop me from doing the best I can regardless. I will take picture and post them very soon.