Friday, December 4, 2009

Blog world!

I love blogging and I enjoy reading blog as well. They give me hope and insight to what everyone is eating and how they handle food. There are some that are honest with their struggles and others that don't mention it at all. It is some times hard for me to believe that I may be a select few that have binges so great that I have to lie down with my pant unzipped moaning wish that I could just die or at least throw up. I did not want this blog to be about hiding my struggles but to put them all out there for the world to see. It is the hope for me that not only will I be able to write about my struggles but also touch others with the same struggles as well.
Case in point tonight was one of those nights. I worked until 12:30 had my lunch at work because I wanted to head to the grocery store and gym. I had a delicious homemade bean burger on a Arnold bun with 1 TB of BBQ sauce and broccoli slaw with a delicious flaxseed dressing. It was fabulous. I ran to Costco and then headed to the gym. Had a great work out and did 30 minutes of cardio. I made the mistake of getting on the scale and maybe that is what set things in motion. I had a protein shake while leaving the gym. I was still in line with the way I wanted to eat. That was before I set foot in the house then it went out the door. I wanted food and I didn't want to figure out why or attempt to stop. Although I did not eat to total discomfort it was not planned and was WAY more than I needed. So now I sit here after having just had a few pieces of toast with butter and an apple with peanut butter. I ask myself will this pattern every end for me? Is it so awful to do?
I will wake up tomorrow and will start my day like I do each and every day with a wonderful bowl of oats, because I love it! I just see so many bloggers just have so much self control with their eating having their perfect portions and I wonder am I the only one that seems to struggle so badly. Will I every be able to find peace and balance? I do know one thing that I will never give up trying and I hope for the day that I find it. I have come so far to give up now.
I think I will go see if I can get my little camera fixed so that I can start taking pictures of my foods. I love to do that so much and I really miss it.
I have a few great new recipes that I am eager to try and share. Thank you so much for reading and listening to me trying to figure this out.


Brit-Man said...

The one thing you can be proud of is all you hav achieved and if it takes longer to finalise a few little things in the process, then it was meant to be like that

However the extra time will serve you well, to improve strength, personlaity and character.


:-) :-).


Heather said...

You are NOT alone! I still struggle with self control & just know that I have to always be aware of it! I still allow myself to buy certain treats but will have outloud conversations with myself to keep things in check. I had broken out of the whole obessessive thing but a rough few weeks of extreme contest prep brought it out of hiding in 2008. I'm still battling it but for the most part winning.

Never give up girl! Never.

Linda said...

I go through the same struggles. What I know is that I eat right most of the time and there are times when I am just MORE hungry. For me if I allow a few cheats...just a few...I can stay on track. If I try to be perfect, it's just too hard and I'm only setting up myself to fail.
You are going great...look what you have accomplished.
As my best friend keeps telling me, guilt is wasted energy!