I have been up for hours with my thoughts. I finally came down stairs to put it on "cyber" paper and also with the hope with anyone who might read this will help me. There are so MANY wonderful bloggers out there that I read on a daily basis but never comment on. I am thinking I may want to branch out to some of these wonderful women for support.
As some of you may know I have been working with a wonderful trainer and have gotten awesome results but I am coming to realize it also comes with a price. I have been feeling not like myself for a few days and I feel like I need to listen to my body. This may not be something my trainer will agree with but for me I feel like it is right. I have been feeling very light headed and just not right.
I had a HUGE binge last night and at first I was devasted and of course I had thought in my head that I would do additional minutes of cardio to complensate today. But is that rational thinking? Is this how I want to live my life? I still feel like I can some how find a medium ground. I love how my body has changed. I continue to hope that my legs will come around but I am not sure at what price I am willing to do that. I have decided that I feel like I need to set some guide lines for myself. Not only for my sanity but for my health.
1. No more than and additional hour of cardio five days a week. I considered only doing a few days a week but I do enjoy my cardio in the morning and I feel like it set my day of right so for now I want to keep it.
2. Continue to do weight training six days a week in the afternoon. I love weight training and I know this will help me with trying to get my legs tighter and firmers. So far now I will continue doing that as well.
3. This is the big one for me and I am not sure how this will go over with my trainer but maybe we can come to a happy medium ground. I want to keep my calories between 1400-2000 calories. I still want to keep my carbs low and protein high but I want to incorporate a more wide range of foods. I miss experimenting with food. Like I said I am not sure if this will help me get firmer and tighter but I am hoping that I can find a medium ground with this.
4. I am really happy with my weight where it is right now. I would like to keep my weight between 140-145. I think this is a good weight for me and like I said over all I am happy with the way it looks.
It feels so good to write this down and find some peace. I feel like I have been obsessed and I was beginning to get really worried, especially with the way I have been feeling the last few days. It may have been a "wake up" call for me and I did not want to ignore it. There are several bloggers that I am going to write personal notes to for support. I have been waiting in the shadows too long and I know a lot of these wonderful women can be of great support to me.
I know I am going to be exhausted today since I have not gotten much sleep but I think this was a good things for me.
I want balance in my life and I know that I have to pick it! I have to find the happy medium, for ME!
Thanks to all who read this and I want to committ to blogging more because I truly have missed it!
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