Goals

I was asked to come up with some long term and short term goals. I have thought about this all week and am still having difficulty with it. Why? I am not sure. I guess I think I know what my goals are but why do I want achieve them is the bigger question.

Long term Goals:

1. My legs to be smoother and tighter
Why? Every since I have embarked on this weight loss journey I have not been happy with them. I want to wear shorts with confidence I would even like to where those nice short shorts that you see the fitness models wearing. I think I would feel so much more confident and know that I have finally arrived!

2. My arms and shoulders to have more definition.
why? Honestly I love the look. To be able to where short sleeve shirt or even tanks to be able to show the "world" that I take my fitness very seriously would be so great! To have a body that shows from the outside that I truly care about myself would make me feel so damn good and walk taller and prouder.

3. My booty to be more rounded and lifted
Why? Who wants a granny butt? You know what I am talking about.. That flat butt with no shape that is just kind of there. I think it would help me look better in shorts and a bathing suit. Also look great in a nice pair of fitted jeans.

4. To maintain my "dream" body for life
why? I know having a healthy, lean and strong body will serve me well in the years to come. I want to have the energy and to be physically able to enjoy the years to come with my family and hopefully grandchildren some day. I do not want to be a burden on my family as I age. I want to age with grace.

Short Term Goals:

1. Each 5-6 small meals no longer than 2 1/2 to 3 hours a part
2. Drink a gallon of water each day
3. Do 45 minutes of cardio 3-5 times a week
4. Drink my "dirty" water 3 times a day
5. Stick to my eating plan given to me by Tony
6. Do my weight training as prescribed by Tony
7. Get at least 6-8 hours of sleep each night
8. Plan and pack my food for the week on Sundays (make the week SO much easier)

Oh that feels so good to finally get this done. I guess I struggled with it because I wanted it to be perfect that I wanted to have the "right" reason for wanting these goals. Truthfully I wanted to look and feel proud of my body. For me at this moment it is about all how I look, is that a good thing? Or a arrogant thing to say? I am not sure but that is my truth right now. I am 45 years old and once a very obese person and to have come this far in my journey and almost to the finish line is so empowering. I wish everyone could feel it! You have it inside you! It take discipline, consistency, dedication, commitment and patience but it is obtainable. Also don't forget surrounding with you wonderful people who support and encourage you every step of the way? So what are you waiting for? Do you have your goals written on paper? Do you know what they are and why you want them? I would love to hear your goals! Lets make 2010 the start of something "GRAND"

Vision

Do you know your vision? Do you know what you are trying to achieve by eating right and exercsising? It helps to be able to see it visualize it. To just say I want to lose weight or look better is not enough you must see it.
Here is a picture of my vision board that I had to do for Tony. Maybe it will help you as well to make your own.
I look at it often to remind myself what I am trying to achieve and that anything is possible if you put your mind, heart and soul into it!
I am at my half way mark and going strong!

Patience

I still continue to struggle wit this word: Patience. As you know I blogged about the injury I have to my upper hamstring. I was good all weekend and did not push it. Of course I figure two days of rest it should be better, right? Running = Bad Idea. I guess I have to learn the hard way. So I am back to walking/power walking and I told myself "NO more running this week."
I guess it is hard for me to look at the heart rate and calories burned. Normally when I run/walk I can burn up to 500 calories and my heart rate can get up to as high as 150-160. Walking/power walking I am lucky if I burn 300 calories and my heart rate might get to 120 if I am lucky. But I must throw all that to the side for now and do what is best for my body to heal. I really am trying to stay in that mind set.
Tony was kind enough to put in all in percept for me. I ask him why don't I listen? He suggested maybe I struggle with the thought that if I don't do it I am a failure. That hit a big cord for me. He said that in order to move forward, sometimes we must adapt and this a true victory not failure. There is a world of difference between "adpating" and rising above from failure. This is the mark of a champion. I must see the difference because it is needed to endure. I was so happy that I reached out to him that he continue to have such power response that really get me thinking. His methods so far have been priceless to me.
I continue to follow his plan a 100% and am excited about the changes to come.
So I continue with PATIENCE!!

Set Back

I was on such a role and feeling strong, discipline, committed... and then BAM! I pulled the upper hamstring in my left leg. I am devasted and feel so defeated... Tony say "Let it go" and as I was "walking" on the treadmill Friday night I had to trust that he would help me get through this and it will all be ok. I have so many issue around trust it is not funny. I haven't quite figure out where it stems from but it is there.
So I am moving forward the best I can but this will not effect my diet. For me that is where it is at... I have been on Tony program now for starting my 6 week. I have been solid the "whole" time and it feel great. I do definately feel tighter in my abs and I do think I look leaner. The legs? Well they continue to need work and I know that it will be the last thing to go. But I will continue to focus on my plan and committment. I told myself 6 weeks ago that I was going to have a 12 week run and that is what I plan to do. I am at my half way mark. I guess some where I wanted to prove to myself that I could be a competition girl that I could have the discipline to stick it out for 12 weeks. Not sure if I would ever have the "balls" to get on stage but some place deep inside of me I will know that I do have what it take to do it if I so choose.

Discipline

Sometimes you are truly tested on your goals and today was one of them. It was so difficult to stay strong but I perserved. I have one more obstacle to get through, tonights dinner and I think I will be ok.
Since it was my husbands and my sons birthday I decided to make a cake. Let me say it was difficult to not want to takste the homemade buttercream frosting. There were many times during the process that I just wanted to shove it into my mouth. How I did it is beyond me.
There were times when I told myself it was ok just have some but another part of me said but you have gone almost 4 weeks staying on your plan why blow it now.
Does it ever get easier? Is this how I want to eat the rest of my life? I have so many questions but some times don't know if I have the answers or at least not yet.
I have signed on with another online trainer and have been with him now for almost 4 weeks. I haven't lost a lot of weight and that pisses me off to say the least. But I am not sure what I am expecting. Did I think it was going to be easy to get to my "Dream Body"? Did I think I was going to follow the plan for a few weeks and it was going to magically appear?
It takes work, it takes patience, it take committment and discipline. I feel like I have come very close many times to a body that I can be happy with but just haven't quite gotten there. Will this be my time? Will I push it to the limit and obtain it?
All these question go through my mind all the time. I think I must learn the hardest lesson of all, patience... I must and have to be patient. This is something I am not good at but one that I must learn if I want to complete this and attain my very best.