Yes I am still here and still plugging away. I have come to my blog many times wondering what I could possible write that I haven't written before. How could I write what I am going through without having a pitty party.
I continue to hit the gym hard and maintain eating clean. I haven't had a all out feast on food since I blogged about it last. All good things right? So why does it never feel good enough? Why must I continue to want instant results for my efforts? But the truth that is how I am feeling. I often ask myself why is my body betraying me? I am giving this whole process 100%, but am I? Doesn't part of the process mean being kind and loving to yourself? Sure eating clean and exercise is loving yourself but there is SO much more to it that I feel like I need to recognize.
I am at a different road on my journey and the sooner I can come to terms with the better I will be. There are part of my body that I don't like and I want to change. Of course I want those result to have happened yesterday. But those results will not happen over night and the training and the way of eating that I am learning now will get me results over time. How long with that take? There is no way of knowing. The most critical thing I have to learn right now is mental acceptance of my body right now. I have to learn to love me just the way I am at this moment as I am. I have to be patient and remember how far I have come.
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