I must remain calm and focus on my breathing and know that everything will be all right. I made the "HUGE" mistake of getting on the scale today. I am still in shock and not sure yet what to do with the information. I have not weighed this much in quite some time. I am disappointed, confused and so much more. I truly have felt like I have been on the right path, The binges are almost nonexistent. I continue to feed my body with non processed foods. I have almost completly cut out white sugar and white flour. So what am I doing wrong?
So what do I do with this information? Do I just hope that eventually it will turn around? Do I go back into my controlling ways? Or do I continue to be loving and kind to my body and wait and see?
Although in the past I have wanted to take control immediately and make it better but as I sit here and think has it truly served me? I know I am so much more than a number on the scale but some how I wished that if I chose wisely what i put in my body that I could have it all. I could have a body that I could be content with and enjoy all the wonderful foods I love.
I sit here not even quite sure what move to make next. I feel like some times you can learn so much more in just the silence to just sit with it. So that is what I am choosing to do. I am not going frantically to another diet full of restrictions and exercise I am going to sit with peace and pray that I can find "MY" way. I will continue to listen to my body and my soul and know what it right for me. And if my body chooses to be heavier but yet peaceful and content then I want to embrace it.
Weekend Reading, 2.18.18
6 hours ago