Dig Deep!

I had to dig deep this week and I have to admit I was unsure if I was going to be able to pull it off. But I sit here on a Friday beaming in awww at myself on what I was able to achieve this week.
My trainer bumped up my cardio on Tuesday to include and additional 45 minutes. My first reaction was, what the hell? I am already doing 45 minutes 5 days you want me to what? Double it? How am I going to fit that into already crazy schedule? Do I have what it takes to do it? But I did. I can't tell you how empowering it is. I left the gym the other days almost in tears from achieving the extra cardio. I sit here on Friday with only an additional 15 minutes to complete my task!
Do not underestimate what you can do. I know I won't.

Mother's Day and Progress Pictures

This was picture was taken on April 3 and I weighed 150 pounds.

This picture was taken today on 5/9 and I weighed in at 145 pounds. So I have lost another five pounds. I continue to make progress but as you can see the legs continue to hold on to the fat. Sigh.... But I do see a small change and the skin does look slightly tighter but I knew this part was going to take time. My upper body is coming together nicely and I have heard from others that between month 3 and 4 they saw great changes and I am hoping for the same for me.

I have upped the amount of veggies I have been eating just to keep me full and satisfied. Thanks to April I cooked up some cabbage and loved it so I will probably be adding that to my go to veggies. I do love them and it has not been a bad thing for me. I do have my moment when I long for a banana or some peanut butter but I continue to remind myself how long I have sustained from all these things and I far I have how far I have come and do I want to give it all up now for that. So I continue to hold strong.

I order myself a new collection of clothes from a girl name "Wendy" that Kelly O blogged about not to long ago. They should be coming this week and I am so excited. I am not clothes shopper and I have no idea how to put clothes together this was a great solution for me. I will take some picture of me in some of the new outfits to show you. It all still seems so unreal to me because when she asked me what size I was I wasn't sure and when I looked at a pair of pants that a friend had given me I saw that they were a size 6. A 6? I could hard put my mind around it and to say that I could wear a size Small shirt. It was almost to much for me. I still have this fear that the clothes will arrive and that they will be to small for me. I still have a lot of mental work to do to really comprehend all that I have achieved. There are moment that I cry with happiness for all that I have able to do and take great pride in it. But yet I still have moments when I see still how far I have yet to go. Today I choose to hold joy in all that I have achieved.

Stay tuned for the pictures of some of the new clothes!

Happy Mothers Day to all!

Update

I have thought about posting for days now and have finally just made myself sit down and do it. Working three small jobs, working out twice a day and now adding physical therapy into my week there isn't a lot of free time.
Here is a picture of us when we went and saw my son play his spring football game last weekend. My hair did look good before it started misting, with that and a little humidity mixed in that is what you get! :) We enjoyed seeing him and look forward to next fall to watching him play.

I am now entering my 12th week with Tony and the dreambodies program. I have had zero cheat and am doing well. Tony added an additional 25 minute of cardio into my mix and I have to admit I was wondering how and if I was going to be able to do it. But I am happy to report that I was able to do all five cardio sessions this week with the additional 25 minutes. It was so empowering to achieve this and it makes it even more clear to me that you can do anything you put your mind to.

I continue to try to stay patient with my legs. There has been small improvements but this part it going to take time and a lot of patience.

I had a conversation with Sarabeth the other day about beauty. This was a very difficult conversation for me. What is beauty? What makes some one beautiful? I had an assignment to find three pictures of women that I thought were beautiful. It was really difficult. There were many that I thought were cute but not beautiful, but what was it that made someone beautiful? I am still not quite sure if I have figure that out for myself. And the big question is can I find myself beautiful? I do have very rare moments that I look in the mirror and I see my beauty and it totally freaks me out. If I thought I was beautiful would that make me stuck up? Would I see myself as better than someone else? I think those are the emotions that come up for me. But what a wonderful gift it would be to have, look in the mirror and see and feel beautiful.
I would love to get your feedback on this.

I think I am going to do progress pictures next weekend so stay tuned!