Emotions

Emotions that I try so hard to keep in check at all times came flooding out of me today with out a warning. I was frightened by them and was unprepared how to handle them. I have always had difficulty reaching out to anyone and telling them how I truly felt. Today I called someone. Not a friend or family but some one I knew could help me acknowledge what I was feeling. I held the phone in my hand for a long time before I made the call but I did.
I know that I have put on quite a bit of weight and have extreme difficulty excepting that but yet I do not want to be defined by a number. So I continue to stay away from the scale. Is it good or bad I don't know but I do not want to react with extreme diet measures that is NOT how I want to live my life. I have to admit I am frustrated. So I sit with my thoughts which is difficult .